Valentine's Day Retro Video Games with a Romance Theme

      Andrew Newton takes another look at a selection of retro games centered around romance from the past.

      With St. Valentine’s Day here, it’s a perfect opportunity to enjoy time with your cherished retro computer. There are quite a number of classic games that focus on love and romance; I’m discussing genuine affection, not adult content, which I’ll cover at another time. Romance isn’t a theme one would expect to see flying off the shelves of 80s computer game stores, but occasionally a game would emerge that genuinely captured players' interest, or it would serve as a narrative element in an established franchise. This brings us to…

      Popeye – DK’Tronics (later published by Alternative) – ZX Spectrum, Amstrad CPC, Commodore 64

      Poor Popeye consistently fights for Olive Oyl’s affection, and this game continues his endeavor. He must once again prove his love by gathering all the hearts scattered throughout the game world and returning them to her. There are 25 hearts to collect from a diverse range of locations, including underwater, atop a lighthouse, inside a castle in the clouds, and in spooky caves. However, as he explores, Olive’s affection for him diminishes (indicated by a meter on the side of the screen).

      If her love meter hits zero, it's game over, meaning players must rush Popeye back to Olive to restore the hearts.

      Popeye grimaces through a window while hearts and keys wait to be collected. ZX Spectrum version.

      Popeye’s task isn’t straightforward, as numerous foes will try to spoil his efforts, including the Sea Hag, vultures, and the nefarious Bluto, who will all knock Popeye down. Luckily, there are plenty of spinach cans to gather, which act as extra lives.

      After winning Olive’s favor, Popeye returns home for his reward. C64 version.

      Due to the large sprites used, there is limited space for movement on-screen, so the game incorporates depth levels into each screen, allowing Popeye to navigate further back, which becomes noticeable when climbing ladders or passing through doors.

      Once all hearts are collected, players can head back to Olive’s house, where she opens the door for him. After he enters, the roof begins to bounce, implying what the two are up to.

      Kissin’ Kousins – English Software (later reissued by Beau Jolie in compilations) – BBC Micro, Acorn Electron, Atari 8-bit

      Kissin’ Kousins is a traditional arcade game where players guide a boy cousin through various screens to reach the girl cousin. Many obstacles block the way, requiring precise jumps or risking losing a life. The side-scrolling action starts on a standard town street with shops in the background. In these initial levels, players must jump over dustbins, fire hydrants, plants, and caterpillars while a small plane drops bombs overhead.

      Later stages take players through woods, dodging bats, disappearing platforms over spikes, and even kangaroos… yes, kangaroos. The lengths some guys will go for a bit of romance with their cousin.

      Giant caterpillars roam the streets as bombs fall. Acorn Electron version.

      If players complete the game, I believe the cousins kiss, and little love hearts appear above their heads, but don’t hold me to that as I haven’t seen the ending in years and I've found that I’m quite bad at the game now.

      I hope they aren’t first cousins!

      Visually, the game is appealing, featuring vibrant colors and well-defined sprites. Occasional pixel-perfect jumps can be frustrating, but they don't take away from the overall fun of the game. It’s definitely worth a try if you’re looking for some arcade entertainment.

      Boxer – Acornsoft – BBC Micro, Acorn Electron

      Boxer is a platform game where players gather balloons released by a lady at the bottom of the screen. One might expect the title to suggest a fighting theme for the girl’s affection, but that’s not the case. Boxing has little relevance here, aside from the random dumbbell thrown across the platforms (it’s supposedly a gym), characters wearing what look like boxing shorts, and the speed bags at the bottom, which award points when punched.

      Players must run and climb platforms to collect the balloons released by the girl, aiming to catch 5 before they float off-screen. Any balloons that disappear automatically go to your rival, who is preoccupied with dropping an endless supply of house plants (possibly) on you. Besides the risk of being hit by a pot plant, there are also objects like hammers and dumbbells thrown at you from off-screen, which you must punch to avoid. Even touching the balloons while they float can knock you over, so always wait until they are lodged in the platform before jumping for them.

      Our heroic boxer celebrates his victory while