'Deliberate' by Marta Roncada Explores the Complicated Aftermath of a Student-Teacher Relationship

      In “Deliberate,” a gripping and thought-provoking short film by writer-director Marta Roncada, a woman revisits her former high school to address a teacher about past interactions that appeared romantic at 18 but now seem deeply troubling.

      The film, screening Friday at the El Dorado Film Festival as part of a shorts collection, could have easily allowed the woman, Alice, to exact straightforward vengeance. However, Roncada opts for a more nuanced and painfully realistic narrative.

      Alice (played by Kelly Lou Dennis) isn't seeking mere revenge, and Mr. Jacobs (Carl Beukes) possesses his own complicated motivations. Both actors deliver compelling and believable performances without being overly dramatic, while Roncada navigates a delicate subject matter with confidence.

      We conversed with Roncada, the award-winning filmmaker and founder of Whole Pictures, about the personal influences she infused into “Deliberate,” and her determination to avoid oversimplifying the narrative for audiences.

      Marta Roncada: My own experience as a student in a student-teacher relationship inspired this film. It reflects my nightmarish fantasy of confronting my former teacher now that I'm older and can grasp the full scope of his actions. Back then, I believed we were in love, and I saw our relationship as a beautiful, secret connection for which I felt fortunate.

      However, as I matured and reached the same age he was at the time, I envisioned having a similar bond with a high school student, and it felt entirely incorrect. I wrestled with my conflicting thoughts, trying to discern which outlook was accurate, and I portrayed that struggle through these two characters.

      Alice embodies my current perspective on the relationship, while Mr. Jacobs represents my past beliefs — shaped by his influence.

      MovieMaker: Many films are inspired by #MeToo, yet yours explores complex and intriguing themes. It seems to start as a discussion on restorative justice, suggesting that if the teacher admitted to his misconduct, she might consider forgiving him. How did you approach this?

      Marta Roncada: Numerous narratives address the quest for justice, not just in the context of #MeToo, and they often convey the message that revenge doesn’t lead to healing. Closure comes not from vengeance, but from forgiveness. If I recognize this, I assume my characters would too.

      Alice aspires to release her pain to move forward and seeks to do so by forgiving Mr. Jacobs. The crucial question is not her desire to forgive but whether she can. How do you forgive someone for something unforgivable? What does it imply for you if forgiveness remains unattainable?

      MovieMaker: It’s striking to discover that neither character has fundamentally changed since her student days. Did you ever consider making their roles clearer or more morally defined for easier understanding?

      Marta Roncada: Never. The circumstances are highly intricate, imbued with cognitive dissonance. Generally, people prefer to perceive themselves as good, even when their actions are questionable. If one only views themselves positively, there’s little incentive to change. In the film, Mr. Jacobs continuously urges Alice to accept his narrative: that he is a good person who did nothing wrong because they were in love.

      Conversely, I experienced a powerful urge to deny that I was a victim. I preferred to believe in a “good” narrative to avoid confronting the painful truth. There’s a strong temptation to revert to past mindsets, but that perpetuates the cycle and hinders growth. Simplifying this would do a disservice to anyone who has endured similar experiences and would certainly be less compelling to watch.

      MovieMaker: How did you collaborate with your talented actors to develop their roles?

      Marta Roncada: We had a brief rehearsal where we worked through the script together. We discussed the characters — their past relationship, its impact on them now, and their current lives — while practicing the scenes.

      It was essential for me to infuse humanity into both roles so that audiences can relate to this story and grapple with the same questions I encountered based on my experiences. Both Kelly and Carl deeply respected this and brought incredible vulnerability and honesty to their parts. I can’t recommend working with them highly enough.

      MovieMaker: What feedback have you received from audiences?

      Marta Roncada: Incredible. Before starting this project, I hadn’t shared my personal experiences with this topic. It was a secret I felt ashamed and fearful to disclose, so the positive reception of this story has been profoundly meaningful to me. After screenings, people have approached me to share their own stories. Witnessing the impact it has had on them has made all the challenges worthwhile.

      MovieMaker: What was the biggest challenge you faced in making this film, and how did you overcome it?

      Marta Roncada: The biggest challenge was finding the right ending! I had drafted and filmed a different conclusion, but it didn’t resonate during editing. I hesitated to change it for a long time