The Ten Commandments of '80s Films

      Movies from the ’80s introduced some of the most lasting tropes in cinema.

      Our admiration for them is so great that we've put them into the format of 10 Commandments, allowing all fans of ’80s films to pay homage to these rules.

      Here are the 10 Commandments of ’80s Movies, with apologies to the Almighty.

      I. Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me

      Karen Allen and Harrison Ford in Raiders of the Lost Ark. – Credit: C/O Paramount Pictures

      While ’80s films explored a variety of supernatural themes, they often showed a great reverence for Judeo-Christian customs: Vampires feared crosses and holy water, prayer was frequent, and adulterers typically faced dire consequences.

      Raiders of the Lost Ark set the precedent in 1981: Indiana Jones spends a significant amount of time trying to outsmart Belloq, the Nazi collaborator archaeologist who constantly steals the artifacts Indy struggles to find.

      Yet, despite all the time Indy dedicates to battling Nazis, they are ultimately overpowered by divine intervention when they foolishly open the Ark while keeping their eyes open.

      II. Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee Any Graven Image, Because That’s Kenner’s Job

      Spaceballs – Credit: C/O MGM

      The toy tie-ins that started with 1977’s Star Wars exploded in the ’80s, as any film with franchise potential came with a plethora of exciting toys.

      How significant was the toy business? Mel Brooks shared in his memoir, All About Me!, that when he created his Star Wars parody Spaceballs, he showed the script to George Lucas, who had a singular request.

      “He mentioned that if I were to create toys of my Spaceball characters, they would resemble Star Wars action figures,” Brooks wrote. “And that would not be acceptable for his legal team and studio’s business affairs department. So he granted me permission to produce my humorous satire of Star Wars as long as I promised not to sell any action figures.”

      This resulted in the scene in Spaceballs where one of Brooks' characters, Yogurt, reveals his secret weapon:

      “Merchandising! Merchandising is where the real money from the movie is made! Spaceballs the T-shirt! Spaceballs the coloring book! Spaceballs the lunchbox! Spaceballs the breakfast cereal! Spaceballs the flame thrower! The kids really love that one.”

      III. Thou Shalt Not Take the Name of the Lord in Vain

      Martin Short, Steve Martin, and Chevy Chase in The Three Amigos. – Credit: C/O Orion Pictures

      Instead of taking the Lord’s name in vain, ’80s films presented a wealth of original insults such as spazz, chode, dweeb, numb nuts, and many more.

      Some of these would not be deemed acceptable in today’s more mindful, anti-bullying environment.

      Others still resonate well, like Steve Martin’s barrage of insults in The Three Amigos: “You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!”

      IV. Remember the Dance, to Keep It Holy

      Kevin Bacon in Footloose. – Credit: C/O Paramount Pictures

      Certain towns in ’80s movies prohibited dancing, which was excellent — it allowed for an entire film about the subject, Footloose.

      However, ’80s films featured many other memorable dance scenes, where everything beautifully came together — for instance, the major dance in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the prom in Pretty in Pink where Andie (Molly Ringwald) dons the titular color, and the prom in Just One of the Guys where Terri (Joyce Hyser) reveals her true gender. And of course, the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance where Marty McFly serves as a wingman for his parents in Back to the Future. (Technically, we know it was set in the ’50s).

      No moment was more crucial in an ’80s film than the night of the big dance. In fact, even Footloose culminated in a large dance scene once the adults came around to the idea. This leads us to our next commandment:

      V. Honor Thy Father and Mother Even Though They Aren’t as Smart as You

      Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. – Credit: C/O Universal Studios

      A common theme in ’80s films was that children and teens were wiser than adults — and more virtuous as well.

      “All it does is make you sad and alone,” was the lesson from Ally Sheedy's Allison Reynolds in The Breakfast Club.

      ’80s movies also conveyed that kids and teens excelled over adults in ditching school (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), nearly sparking and then averting nuclear conflict (WarGames), designing toys (Big), and even salvaging marriages (Back to the Future).

      VI. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adul