15 Ranked Characters from Master of Disguise

      Are you "turtley" enough for the turtle club? If you recall Dana Carvey’s 2002 comedy The Master of Disguise, then you most definitely are. We’ve chosen to rank all 15 of Dana Carvey’s primary characters in the film from worst to best.

      Keep in mind that this movie was released 22 years ago, so some characters have held up better than others. That said, we’ve utilized the power of Energico to rank them based on our personal views.

      Admittedly, The Master of Disguise did not receive much acclaim from critics in 2002 — it was harshly criticized, landing a mere 1% on the Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer. However, some would argue it deserves more appreciation than it received. Regardless of the film’s reception, as Pistachio Disguisey would say, it’s “so crazy, it just might work.”

      Here’s a ranking of Dana Carvey’s characters in The Master of Disguise, from least to most favorable.

      15. Prince Lamijama

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      Let’s address this character right away.

      Yes, Prince Lamijama is somewhat problematic. Dana Carvey portrays an Indian snake charmer in brownface, who attempts to lure his pet snake, Buttercup, out of her basket by playing Kenny G’s “Songbird” on a plastic recorder.

      This character has certainly not aged well, earning the bottom spot on our list.

      14. The Trojan Man

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      Another quick, easily missed moment, but it’s still entertaining.

      While Grandfather (Harold Gould) narrates the history of the Disguisey family, he tells his grandson Pistachio — Carvey’s main character — about their lineage of using Energico, the ability to transform at will, for generations.

      The tale travels back to ancient Europe, where thieves aim to steal valuable artifacts. Carvey plays a Trojan-looking soldier pretending to be a statue who humorously pokes a thief in the rear with his sword to prevent the theft of a bronze vase.

      13. Abraham Lincoln

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      The Disguiseys were also active during the mid-1800s, helping Abraham Lincoln add flair to his campaign speeches.

      This character is amusing as it features Dana Carvey in an Abraham Lincoln costume dancing to “I Like To Move It” by Reel 2 Real.

      12. Cow Pie Man

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      This is a typical poop joke, yet it scores points for creativity. To escape Devlin Bowman’s (Brent Spiner) henchman, he disguises himself as a cow pie in a field. The henchman inadvertently steps in his poop mask, leaving a boot print.

      When Pistachio, as Cow Pie Man, rises wearing a grass suit, it’s such an unexpectedly ridiculous moment that it provokes laughter — at least for some of us.

      11. Cherry Pie Man

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      Similar to Cow Pie Man, the Cherry Pie Man emerges from, you guessed it, a cherry pie. Covered in slippery cherries, Pistachio successfully evades the henchman as he’s literally too slick to catch.

      He earns bonus points for the scene where he begins firing cherries from his mouth like a machine gun, hitting one henchman directly in the forehead like a bullet in a gangster film.

      10. Pistachio Disguisey

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      Now we arrive at Pistachio himself. As a nerdy Italian waiter in his family's restaurant, Pistachio doesn’t stand out — until he discovers his secret ability to disguise. His motivation comes when villain Devlin Bowman (Brent Spiner) kidnaps his parents (Edie McClurg and James Brolin).

      Pistachio is amusing due to his peculiarities, like wearing underwear on his head, crafting a beard from shaving cream, and revering his mother’s cannolis. He’s proficient at impressions, mimicking a southern couple’s accents at the restaurant and Donkey from Shrek.

      One of Pistachio’s most memorable lines is, “That’s crazy. So crazy, it just might work.”

      9. Braces Girl

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      This character never fails to amuse me. In a quick scene at the beginning, as Pistachio learns to don disguises, he halfheartedly masquerades as a girl with braces and long red pigtails.

      It’s enough to fool a teenage boy, who gives him a rose, causing Pistachio to blush.

      8. The Toy Salesman (Tro-Bubbles)

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      Technically, the toy salesman only appears in the end credits and deleted scenes, yet he’s so unforgettable that you’d think he was in the main film.

      He features in a toy store scene alongside Jennifer (Jennifer Esposito), Pistachio’s assistant and love interest. Devlin